You can watch the video below or scroll down for the transcript. Keep fighting, my friend!

Keep the Martial Arts MARTIAL!

Howdy! Ando here from Happy Life Martial Arts. Look—there are many paths that you can take in the martial arts—modern or traditional, competitive sport or spiritual journey.

It’s also true that people start out with different motivations: maybe self-defense, fitness, or just fun. So, whatever interest brings you to the mats, or the park, or garage, I say good for you! But whichever path you choose, I do hope at some point we all end up in the same place. Where is that?

Conflict resolution. Overcoming resistance. In other words, fighting.

Fighting is the only way to build self-protection skills, which is what makes martial arts special. Learning how to stand up for yourself and manage threats is what makes martial arts different from yoga, dancing, or climbing rocks.

In recent years, with the rise of MMA, many martial artists have criticized traditional martial arts training programs that offered limited or zero training against resistance—and that’s a fair point! But then a funny thing happened…

The foundation arts of MMA, like Boxing, Muay Thai, and Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, discovered the same business reality that Karate, Kung Fu, and Tae Kwon Do discovered decades ago—most people don’t want to get punched in the face or choked out. Which means nowadays, you might find a boxing class with no sparring or a BJJ class with limited or structured rolling. 

That makes sense—give your customers what they want… but the customer isn’t always right! As teachers, we should be leading students to new challenges. As students, we should be looking for new challenges. Specifically, facing fears and making the uncomfortable more comfortable.

So, good news: Today, it seems there are more martial art schools than ever. Bad news: If we’re not careful, there may be fewer schools offering the full benefits of martial arts, the benefits that go along with the practice of fighting, than ever.

To fix that, traditional schools need to keep it real and MMA schools need to keep it safe. If we all do that, then more people will get the full benefits that only martial arts can offer. If we don’t do that, then we might as well go play pickleball.

Of course, how a program incorporates fighting into its training can look many different ways. And I’m certainly not suggesting that anyone should be getting contusion and concussions on a regular basis. But I do hope that however you’re teaching or however you’re learning that you’re heading in the right direction—towards conflict resolution. That means verbal deescalation, shoving and running, breaking an arm, or knocking someone out—all of it. 

The way I see it, the whole point of martial arts is to arm as many good people with the tools they need to fight for themselves, their family, their friends, and the common good as possible. When we toughen up the good guys, that doesn’t just make their lives better, it makes the world better. And that’s a goal I hope we can all agree on.

So, let’s keep the martial arts as martial as we can… and keep fighting for a happy life!

The post Keep the Martial Arts MARTIAL! appeared first on Sensei Ando.

I have some bad news–the hardest part of self-defense is something you can’t change or stop. What am I talking about?

Knowing how far to go when defending yourself.

Here’s the problem–bad guys have a plan. They know what they want and what they’re going to do to get it. But good guys are forced to wait to see what happens before figuring out what needs to be done to survive.

This dynamic gives bad guys a HUGE advantage, putting them in a position to act, while good guys are left to react. Without being able to see into the future, how can good guys gain a fair chance to defend themselves?

In this episode, I’ll share some thoughts on the “Good Guy Dilemma”, plus offer some ideas on how to deal with the unknown. Hope you can join me!

To LISTEN to “The Hardest Part of Self-Defense,” you can either:

• Play the audio podcast below… or download to your device.
• Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Google Podcasts or Spotify.

To WATCH the video version or READ the transcript, scroll down below.

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Oh—and don’t forget to sign up for free email updates so you can get new shows sent to your inbox the minute they’re released.

Thanks for listening! Keep fighting for a happy life!

The Hardest Part of Self-Defense

Here’s the video. If the player doesn’t work, click this direct link.

As always, if you’d like to keep the conversation going, feel free to leave a comment here or through my Contact Page.

TRANSCRIPT

Hi-ho, Ando here from Happy Life Martial Arts. Always a pleasure when we can spend some time together. Welcome to episode #108 of Fight for a Happy Life, the show that believes even a little martial arts makes life a whole lot better. And that’s true.

Today, I’m going to tell you right up front, I’m in more of a rant mode than wise philosopher mode. But don’t worry, I will present a problem, but I also have three solutions.

That’s overstating it. Not solutions perhaps, but at least thoughts, hopefully to make the problem a little better. Let’s get into it.

What is the hardest part of self-defense?

I’m not talking about training. So this isn’t about remembering techniques or getting injured during practice time. This is actually something that you cannot train. Here it is.

The hardest part of self-defense that you cannot train is knowing how far you need to go to be safe.

So this is what I mean. A bad guy has a plan. Maybe they just want to scare you. That’s fun for them. Maybe their intent is to rob you, beat you, rape you, murder you.

The good guy has no idea what the bad guy’s plan is. Pulls the gun, says, give me your money. So now I don’t know, well, if I just give him the money, he’ll leave me alone, I live, or is he going to shoot me anyway? So it would be better to make a grab for the gun.

I don’t know the plan, so therefore my decision making is on hold. And even if the situation starts getting a little more intense, I’m never quite sure when to ramp up to the next level.

So that’s where we get caught thinking, what’s happening, right? Already the shock of some trouble is going on. Is this really happening? Most good people can’t even believe these kinds of situations are coming up, that bad guys would do these things.

Should I do something? What should I do? When should I do it? How far should I take this?

These are all problems. And I think they’re the biggest problems because they stop us from making decisions. This just goes under the heading of action and reaction. Which is faster? Action.

There is a power and advantage to taking action. Reacting is always behind. It’s always going to be a little weaker. Which leads us to what I call the “Good Guy Dilemma”.

Here’s the Good Guy Dilemma as far as self-defense goes…

Trouble starts. If you, as the good guy, in response to that trouble, if you do too much too early, you’ll get in trouble. Maybe you’re arrested, maybe judged by your friends, overreacted, you’re out of control.

On the other hand, if trouble appears and you do too little too late, well now you can be injured or even killed. That’s the dilemma.

Too much too early or too little too late?

Now in contrast, we have combative sports. Sports is a completely different situation, whether it’s a karate or BJJ tournament or boxing MMA, doesn’t matter. First, you agree who you’ll be fighting with. Both people know who’s going to be part of the contest.

Second, you both want to fight. You’re both willingly entering into this competition. Three, you agree when it’s going to happen. Okay, set the date, promote it even, bring my family even.

Four, more germane to what I’m talking about today, you agree on the rules. You agree on what is going to happen, what’s allowed, what’s not allowed. In short, how far is this going to go? If anything goes outside those lines, then the whole thing will be stopped. We agree on the rules.

In self-defense, none of that is true. First, you don’t know who your attacker may be. They may be a friend or a family member who’s suddenly drunk or crazy or enraged and turns on you, but I didn’t plan on fighting that person. And of course, it could be a stranger. So I don’t know who it is.

Worse, the bad guy gets to pick who they want to attack. That’s part of their plan. And a bad guy usually picks someone that they feel they have an advantage over either because of size and strength or because they’re going to take them by surprise when they’re not expecting it or they have a weapon or there’s two or three of them.

No matter how you stack it, the bad guy makes sure that it’s not a fair fight. Not a fair fight. So right off the bat, that’s different than combative sports.

Second, you don’t want to fight. The bad guy, that’s his plan. I’m going to go start trouble. The good guy is walking around, I don’t want to fight. I don’t want to hurt anybody. I don’t want danger in my life or near the people I love. So that’s different.

Third, I don’t know when it’s going to happen. If you’re a good guy leading your normal life, nobody says, oh, at 4 o’clock today, someone’s going to mug you and maybe kill you. You don’t get to know that.

So I don’t know who. I don’t want to fight. I don’t know when. And then, four, I don’t know how far this is going to go. What are the rules?

Are you just trying to intimidate me to make yourself feel stronger today or are you letting off steam because the rest of your life is out of control? Or are you actually going to murder me? I have no idea.

Therefore, creating a response to this trouble that I’m now sensing is very, very difficult. So, sports and self-defense, these worlds are not the same, not even close.

Now, the problem here that I’m describing, the Good Guy Dilemma, is societal, it’s cultural. Our culture says, at least the way I was raised, and I think most good people are raised, the culture tells us that it is not okay to defend yourself until it’s too late. You’re just not allowed to.

If you’re at school and someone pushes you and you punch them in the face, who gets in trouble? The puncher will get in trouble, in most cases, because it’s seen as escalating. Well, he only pushed you, and then you punched him. Which of course is dumb, because a push downstairs, in front of a car, you fall down, hit your head on a curb, a push can be just as injurious as a punch.

It’s physical contact, and anytime there’s physical contact, there is danger. You don’t get to measure that by degrees.

What about someone’s just in your face, and they’re walking at you, they’re crowding you, they’re screaming at you, and you knee him in the groin. He doubles over. Now, who gets in trouble? You. Why? Because he didn’t even touch you. He was just yelling, oh, he didn’t come that close, oh, you didn’t have to knee him.

All ridiculous. It’s ridiculous to keep ranking trouble or danger in degrees. It’s not fair that good guys have to follow the lead of the bad guy to see how this plan of theirs is going to unfold.

And the bad guy knows this, by the way. The bad guy knows that this mystery of what they actually are going to do is working against the good guy. They know that. They know you don’t know. That’s where their power comes from.

Even on a low level, maybe this has happened to you. It’s certainly happened to me. Someone starts to make you uncomfortable. Maybe they’re staring at you. Maybe they’re in your space. Maybe they even poke you a little bit or grab a wrist or something.

Seems mild. And then maybe you react to it. You say, get off me or, hey, back up. You make a stand. And then they laugh, dude, relax, I’m just messing with you.

Really? Well don’t. Don’t.

To me, if you’re messing around with somebody, you’re signaling that you’re a bad guy. Because good guys don’t do that to each other. Good guys don’t go around messing with each other.

I’m not talking about trash talk. I’m not talking about pranks or having good clean fun. I’m talking about intimidating, threatening, touching, hurting. None of that is what good guys do to other good guys.

So to me, what’s fair is, if you’re in a situation where you even have to wonder what’s happening here, how far is this going to go? Uh-oh. As soon as you’re in that mindset, that should equal the permission. That should give you the permission, green light, to stop it. To do whatever you have to do to stop that situation right there.

Now that might come off sounding a little extreme, right? The guy’s in your face, he hasn’t touched you, and you get to just knee him in the groin? Yeah.

The guy poked you in the chest and you punched him in the face? That’s fair? Yes. To me, in this moment, yes.

Am I talking about preemptive striking? Yes. I vote yes.

Now let me say right now, I am in no way a lawyer. I am not a police officer. I am also not a priest. So I can’t recommend to you anything as far as legalities or moralities. Legal issues and moral issues are on you, your personal choices, your reflection.

I’m just pointing out what would make a fair fight. It’s already unfair that a bad guy has targeted you and decided to enact his evil on you. But if I have any chance in the self-defense situation, my best chance will come if I’m allowed to recognize danger as early as possible and take whatever actions I need to to get out of that situation. That is fair.

All right? I just want to make sure that’s clear.

I’m talking about preemptive escaping as well here. So it’s not just preemptive striking. Preemptive escaping. As soon as I know there’s trouble, if I can get out of there, get out of there. Take that course of action.

Preemptive deescalating. Somebody’s looking at you like there’s going to be trouble and you can already make peace by offering to buy the beer or give up the parking space or let them get ahead of you in line, whatever that’s going to be. If you can preemptively deescalate and let people know, I’m not looking for trouble here, fantastic.

I have a video that’s on the same kind of topic. I believe it’s Self-Defense Tip: Fight Back Now. That’s the tip– to fight early. The big idea being, the sooner you take action, the safer you’ll be. The longer you let that trouble develop, the harder it gets to get out of it and the more serious the consequences usually are.

If we think about this in terms of animal attacks, I don’t think there’s any legal or moral issues here. I think we’d all be on the same page.

If you’re in the ocean and you’re swimming and a shark fin pops up right there, six feet away, eight feet away, as soon as that gray shape comes near you, I’m going to punch that in the nose, hammer it in the eye, start thrashing, making noise.

I need to give a signal to the shark that I am not going to be an easy lunch. Maybe you do eat me, but it’s not going to be easy. I’m going to go down fighting.

Now, again, in fairness to the shark, I don’t know the shark’s plan. Maybe the shark just saw my shape and is just coming by curious what’s in the water. Maybe, maybe just wants to bite off one of my feet. I have two. Is that asking for too much?

But maybe it wants to grab my leg, pull me underwater, drown me and eat me completely. I don’t know the shark’s intention. I don’t know the shark’s plan.

What I do know is once I’ve identified in my environment a killer, a predator, and now it’s in my space, I know that I need to take the earliest action possible to best my chances of survival, to maximize my chances. That I know.

If you agree with that, whether that’s a bear or a shark, what about human beings? We are also animals. My friend, we are also animals. I say it should be the same with human beings.

When a person in our society, where we have rules, we have polite society, if one of those lines of polite society is crossed, to me that’s just like a shark fin popping up out of the water. Boom. And that means, uh oh, I’ve just identified a bad guy. And I don’t know what this bad guy’s plan is. All I know is bad guy.

And like any predator, I need to treat that person with that respect of, you’re a killer, could be, or a predator, or could be. I just don’t know how far this is going to go, which is the self-defense problem that I’m talking about today.

I’m just trying to be fair. Is this fair to the bad guys that you’re allowed to overreact? That you’re allowed to retaliate immediately at the first transgression?

Look, I say it’s not about being fair to the bad guy. It’s about being fair to the good guy. Isn’t life crazy enough already for you? Am I going to get that job? Can I make money starting this business? Does he like me? Does she like me? Is somebody cheating on me, betraying me? Am I getting sick? Do the people I love, are they going to have success, are they going to die?

Life is crazy. More than ever, you know that. Why do I have to add on the possibility of being murdered, attacked in any way? Why do I have to add that to my list of things to worry about on a daily basis? I shouldn’t have to.

It’s not fair that bad guys get this power to mess with good guys. And good guys are expected to just wait to find out what to do about it. That’s not fair.

So let me be clear. I’m not saying that good guys have a license to murder anyone they want. Someone calls you a name and you get to murder them. I’m not saying that. There’s a large presumption here to my argument.

The presumption is you’re a good person. If you’re a good person, then I trust your judgment to make good choices in a given situation. If someone’s staring at you, that doesn’t mean you get to take out a gun and shoot them. But it does mean you get to do something.

And I believe that that something will be a minimum action, a minimal level action to stop the situation. And if that means jumping it up a degree, if we have to measure degrees of trouble, then you should be allowed to do that.

Now, culture is not set up that way. This is the problem, at least for now. Maybe after this recording, we can start shifting momentum the other direction. Fairness for the good guy, not for the bad guy.

All right, so in that spirit, here are three thoughts to help shift that momentum, to help make fights fairer, this fight for safety in life, a little fairer for the good guy.

Three thoughts to prepare you for unfair fights…

First thought, in your training as a martial artist, is to include exercises to help you shorten the gap, shorten that timing, that it takes you to identify trouble, label it, accept that is trouble, make a decision, and then execute on that decision.

That’s a lot of steps in there. But if you can’t speed up that whole process, that’s only going to make your life more dangerous. Even if we still don’t know how far to go in our defense, everything that leads up to finally doing something has got to be faster. That part we can train.

Let’s say you’re in a restaurant. You’re sitting at a table with your family. Someone, some dude staring at you, don’t know him, staring at you from across the restaurant. And it gets so uncomfortable, you don’t know what’s going on. He’s over there staring, gesturing towards you.

You move. You move to a different table. They follow. They change positions too. They’re still staring at you. Now they get up and they approach the table. You put your hands up right away and say, hey, hey, I don’t know what’s going on here, but I don’t want any trouble.

You’re using your words. You’re doing what you’re supposed to do.

They make a threat. For whatever reason, they make a threat. You try to keep them calm, try to offer to buy their dinner. You try to keep them cool. You deescalate. They don’t listen.

They keep threatening. Now they get closer and they touch you. They poke you. You back up. You give them space. You say, hey, hey, hey, I said I don’t want trouble. You give them that space. It doesn’t matter.

Now they pull a knife. You grab their hand. They pull away.

You say stop. They stab you. You grab that knife again. They pull away.

You keep trying to grab the knife. They keep trying to hurt you. At no time are you thinking about hurting them. You’re just trying to stop this because you still can’t believe it’s happening.

And now you’re dead. Another good person dead, why? Because denial, you can’t believe this is happening. Refusal to label a bad guy a bad guy at the earliest moment when that shark fin popped up and this person was staring at you, which is not something good people do to one another.

So because you weren’t prepared to match or jump up a level of violence, to use your physicality to stop this person versus trying to just stop the knife or stop the whole situation, you die.

Maybe fear of getting in trouble is part of the problem here. Well, I don’t want to make a scene, get kicked out of the restaurant. I don’t want to get arrested for going too far, too soon, too much, too fast.

And of course, finally, you were waiting to see the plan. You waited too long to see how far this was going to go. What were the rules here? What was this person’s intent?

He already had this knife in his pocket when he showed up at this restaurant. He was targeting you early on. Now he’s over here stabbing you even though you’re doing everything you thought possible to prevent it. And now you see the plan is, oh, he is going to stab you no matter what I do. And now it’s too late. It’s too late to defend yourself.

All of this remediable could have been remedied by taking early action, earlier action at a higher level at any one of those stages. The staring, the approaching, the threatening, the touching, the producing of a knife, the stabbing with the knife, the repeated stabbing, at any point there was an opportunity to stop. Sometimes life just doesn’t go your way, but there was opportunities.

So that may be a clumsy example, but I’m just trying to show that how many stages there are could be in a self-defense situation, how many opportunities there could be if you’re prepared to up the level of your response to get ahead in the timing, to make the bad guy react to you instead of you waiting to find out what’s going to happen.

So my first thought, solution, perhaps, is to always train yourself to make the first sign of trouble in your environment, that first shark fin, the last sign of trouble. As soon as you know there’s an unknown that is a threat to you, don’t dabble in degrees of bad and say, well, it’s not that bad, well, no. We have to respect that it is all the way on.

Take the early action. That’s my first piece of advice.

Number two, my second thought, get involved.

Get involved. If it was a perfect world, well, maybe there wouldn’t be bad guys. All right, so slightly less perfect. In a perfect world, it wouldn’t just be you looking for the shark fins. It wouldn’t just be you looking for the first signs of trouble.

Imagine if you’re in that same restaurant and some guy is mad dogging you, he’s eyeballing you from across the room. And imagine if everyone in the restaurant noticed this bad energy from this person and the whole restaurant got up together as soon as that guy stood up off his stool to come over to your table.

The whole restaurant said, Hey, hey, where are you going? What are you doing? You’re having a bad day, whatever’s going on, but let’s just keep it cool. No one’s going to get hurt here tonight. It sounds crazy because that’s not how the culture is set up.

Imagine you’re on a bus. We’ve all seen these things happen, whether it’s in a movie theater or a bus, at the mall, whatever. And you see someone being abusive to somebody else, yelling, raising their voice, intimidating, just being a jerk, whatever. Crossing the lines of his polite society.

And what do most people do? They ignore it.

Wouldn’t it be cool if we lived in a world where as soon as that bully, that bad guy makes himself known, everybody says, Hey, hey, hey, stop. It just gets me excited to even think about how that would feel to the bad guys.

Like, wow, if I pop up my little shark fin here and if people see what’s going on, they’re all going to come after me. It’s not just one on one here. I’m not targeting one person. It’s everybody. Everyone’s going to be here.

Bad guys don’t like attention. Remember this.

Bad guys don’t like attention because they know what they’re doing is wrong.

They don’t want witnesses. They don’t want the crowds. So maybe instead of good guys alone being afraid of gangs, of bad guys — that’s how it usually is. Oh, there’s a gang of punks over there. I’m by myself. That’s frightening. — wouldn’t it be cool if it was reversed where a bad guy is afraid of a gang of good guys?

They know if I cross the line and anyone sees it, they’re all going to come after me. They’re all going to step in and do something.

We have to get involved. As good people, we need to get involved if we want to live in a more perfect world. But usually you hear the opposite. People say, I don’t want to get involved.

I’ve told the story on this podcast about my wife and I tackling that thief and a big crowd of people just all standing around watching us for minutes wrestle with this guy. Nobody wanted to get involved. They watched or walked away. And that’s including the owner of the car who said, Hey, stop that guy. Even he didn’t help. That’s how crazy it is.

I’ve also told the story, early podcast, The Blonde-Haired Warrior. One of my favorite examples. So many self-defense lessons in that episode. If you haven’t gone back to listen to that one, The Blonde Haired Warrior. The story of a young lady who lived down the street from us.

We woke up in the middle of the night. She was screaming, long and short of it. She had left, just left her apartment. First level apartment on the ground level. She had just walked outside and a premeditated attack. A man tried to rape her right in her carport.

Her roommate was right by the, sleeping on the couch by the door. Heard her friend screaming and yelling, never opened the door. Scared, didn’t know what to do, shock.

I mean, I have sympathy. If people are not prepared, how horrible that must feel. But that’s the point. We can train to get past that. We can train to get involved on some level.

The golden rule here is if you want people to help you when you’re in trouble, then you need to get involved to help other people.

That’s how we change the culture. That’s how we change society. Where it’s understood if good people help good people, then they’ll help you too. We all help each other.

That’s not really crazy, is it? It sounds like common sense. But in action, it’s apparently pretty difficult. Not to say there aren’t great people out there doing great things and putting their life on the line for others. Yes, of course, there are heroes all the time. I just wish it was more commonplace that we hear those stories way more than the tragedies.

So yeah, let’s even lower the bar here. Because I can give you a couple of examples of people do get involved on a minimal level so that they can still feel safe.

Have you ever seen a fight in a street? Two guys fighting or whatever, I’m sorry. Two human beings fighting. And people just start honking their horns. They’re just in their car. They don’t have to get out of the car, but you honk your horn. Just to send some energy over there to let them know, hey, we see you. We don’t like this. Stop. We’re gaining attention to what’s going on here.

That’s a great way on some level, on a minimal level, to get involved without putting yourself in danger. Because it can get awkward, I understand. I mean, getting involved can be awkward.

You say, well, that’s a domestic dispute. That’s between a husband and wife over there. Or that’s between a parent and their kid. I’m not going to get into whether they should be spanking or not. We get into these situations where that’s kind of their business.

But in my heart, I feel I’m a good person. So what I’ve done in the past and what I think can be done by anyone is, let’s say you see someone being abused. And as a good person, I have to trust my intuition, like, Whoa, that’s not okay. That woman shouldn’t be shaking that kid while the kid’s crying like that. That’s, it’s going too far.

That woman shouldn’t be slapping that guy in the face over there screaming at him. I don’t know what’s happening. However, even if I just bear witness, to move a little closer, to stand and look, to at least let them know that someone is seeing this. Because again, most bad guy behaviors are private.

Bad guys would prefer that they’re quiet because they know they’re over the line. They know they’re abusing someone. So the very fact that you’re there to witness it can be, not always, people lose their tempers or are out of their heads, I get it, but it’s better than nothing, is my argument. To at least stand and bear witness.

Yes, when this has happened, I would have someone say, what are you doing? Mind your own business. This doesn’t concern you. Move along. And then I’m thinking, dude, you’re in the mall. You’re not standing in your living room with your kid or your wife. You’re right here in front of me. You put yourself in front of me. So it is my business. You’re in public.

Just a counter thought.

Third thought, don’t be so quick to judge other people when they’re taking early actions to defend themselves.

You hear this all the time. People, especially with Instagram and all these videos that are out there, TikTok, whatever, and fights and people defending themselves and crimes caught on tape. And tons of people comment, Oh, well, that’s not what I would have done. Or someone said, Well, they didn’t have to do that.

Why didn’t he just do this? Why didn’t she just do that? Well, he could have just done this.

It’s so easy to judge after the fact, because after the fact, the plan is more clear. Now we know who’s involved, when it was involved, what the rules were, how far it was going to go. Now we know.

But where’s the sympathy for the good guy in those situations who had no idea what was going to happen? Remember the Good Guy Dilemma here…

Either you’re going to get judged for doing too much too early, or you’re going to get judged for doing too little too late.

At least if you do too much too early, you’ll have a chance of surviving. But if you wait, it may be too late.

So again, I would love to see the culture shift towards sympathy and say, Yeah, I get it. If I was in that situation and I didn’t know what was going to happen, I would do that.

Now, I expect ignorant commentary from people who don’t train in the martial arts, people who don’t study violence. Maybe they don’t study crime. They don’t really think it through. They don’t know how hard it is to restrain somebody who doesn’t want to be held. They don’t know how hard it is to stop somebody with a knife. They just don’t know.

So these are the people who say things like, Well, he was just yelling. Well, all he did was bump into you a little bit. Well, he was just close, he wasn’t doing anything yet. But martial artists should know.

Martial artists should know what danger looks like. They should have accepted that there are bad guys out there and are very quick to figure out that’s one of them right there. Don’t let his plan advance any farther. And they should know how difficult it is to actually fight somebody, so that preemptive beat, that preemptive action, how valuable that is, that you’re the one acting and not reacting.

Martial artists should know that.

So if we can somehow do these things, maybe we can change the culture to not only forgive good guys when they take early action, but applaud it. Applaud the fact that someone took the action to stand up to a bad guy right away, to try to nip that in a bud, instead of saying after the fact, Oh, that’s too bad. I guess there was nothing he could have done.

Yes, there was. Earlier. He could have done something right away, and the whole thing would have stopped.

If you’re still not sure about any of this, if any of this is making you uncomfortable, one more little add-on here. Forget about you for a second…

What if you’re with your kids or you’re babysitting someone else’s kids and that shark fin pops up? What if you’re with your elderly parent or relative? Maybe your life isn’t worth defending, but what about theirs?

How close are you going to let this shark get to the kid? To your mom or dad? How much danger are you willing to expose them to? How many unknowns?

How long are you going to keep wondering how bad this situation is going to get before you take some type of action to protect your kids or your parents or someone you love?

I bet, as a thought experiment, you would take early action for them. I only ask that you would take early action for yourself as well.

Alright, so let’s wrap this up.

Self-defense is tricky. We agree on that, right? If we can all agree that we should stop bad guys, that’s the first premise of self-defense, right? The good guys should defend themselves against bad guys. We agree on that.

We can even maybe agree if we sit down long enough over pie and coffee on how to stop them. Use this weapon, use this technique, use these words, use these escape routes. We can prepare tactically, strategically. Got it.

But can we also agree on when, when to deploy our weapons, our strategies, our tactics, our preparations? When?

For me, just to sum this up, I believe we should all be training as martial artists, as human beings, to take early action. When that shark fin pops up, it has to be just like you’re running in a race. That’s on your mark, get set, and then if it progresses, go. The earlier, the better. Don’t wait till it’s too late.

Number two, get involved. The golden rule of society. If you want people to help you, then you should help them. I don’t even know what else to say. At least bear witness to the struggle that someone else is going through and let them know that they’re not alone.

Number three, don’t judge too quickly. Don’t judge your fellow good guy too quickly. Instead of judging what somebody does, consider this. Instead of judging which technique they picked out, ask yourself why are they in that situation to begin with? Judge the why, not the what.

Why did they feel they had to do this in the first place? Oh, because there was this other person making them uncomfortable, pressuring them, intimidating them, threatening them. And that’s why. That’s why they did anything in the first place. They never would have been in that situation if the bad guy hadn’t started it.

So don’t judge so quickly. It’s just not fair. It’s not fair. And life can be unfair enough.

Again, I’m not saying that these are all solutions. Certainly not perfect solutions, but it’s not a perfect world. The best plan, the best advice I’ve got for you is to be a good guy. Do whatever you have to do to protect yourself and the ones you love.

And then remember, you’re not alone. You’re not the only good guy out there. You are part of team good guys.

So if you can protect yourself and the ones you love and your fellow good guys, help protect team good guys, then that hopefully will spur them to help you. And now we are closer to living in a perfect world.

Okay, I’m done. I hope that gave you something to think about. I also hope it inspires you to take action, early action, to stay safe, and build a happy life.

Until next time, smiles up, my friend. Let that smile be your shield and your sword. Keep fighting for a happy life.

The post #108: The Hardest Part of Self-Defense [Video + Podcast] appeared first on Sensei Ando.

Can a smaller, weaker animal survive an attack by a larger, stronger animal?

The truth is UGLY, but I’m going to tell you anyway!

If you can handle it, I’m going to examine the benefits of training in the martial arts as well expose the limitations. Let’s face it—you hear a lot of nonsense out there. Is training really worth all that time, sweat, and money?

Spoiler alert: I’m still training!

Of course, this show is just a place for me to shoot my mouth off, so if you think my opinion is just more nonsense, leave a comment or send an email. I’ll be happy to hear from you!

Okay, here it comes… like it or not! 🙂

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Thanks for listening! Keep fighting for a happy life!

The Law of the Jungle and Self-Defense

Here’s the video! If it won’t play, try this direct link.

As always, if you’d like to keep the conversation going, feel free to leave a comment here or through my Contact Page.

For more discussion on being the underdog in self-defense, check out these two other podcasts…

Tips for the Little Guy

Two Big Lies in the Martial Arts

TRANSCRIPT

Ando here from Happy Life Martial Arts. Welcome to episode #81 of Fight for a Happy Life, the show that believes even a little martial arts makes life a whole lot better.

Today, things are going to get ugly. Are you feeling brave? Today, I want to take a walk in the jungle.

Here’s the thing. I got an email the other day from a martial artist named Becky. Hey, Becky, shout out to you. Thanks for writing.

Now, Becky has a concern that even if she trains really, really hard in the martial arts, even if she puts all of her time and energy and passion into it, it’s still possible that some brutish thug can overwhelm her even if he’s got no training whatsoever that she’s just going to be outmatched and beat up.

Now, this is not the first time this question has come up. If you’ve been listening to this show, I’ve raised this topic a couple of times, and I’ll put the links below to those episodes just in case this rambling is not enough for you. I have other thoughts on this topic.

But today, I wanted to take a new approach. I have another thought that I haven’t really brought up before, but like I said, this could get ugly. We’re going to talk about the Law of the Jungle. And the Jungle, my friends, is a scary, horrible place. You may not like what you find in the Jungle.

But I do believe if you’re brave enough to step into the darkness, we will find some bright spots along the way. So gird your loins, get your coffee, do what you have to do. Are you with me? Then let’s get steppin.

Here’s the situation…

You are alone and you are attacked by someone a head taller, 50 pounds heavier. Maybe in their 20s. It’s a guy. He’s got some kind of athletic base, not necessarily trained in martial arts, but maybe he’s played some rugby or some football, so he’s tough. And for whatever reason, he’s got his eyes on you. Jumps on you, and is committed to hurting or maybe even killing you. That’s the scenario.

Now, to be honest is very difficult, but be honest with yourself. What are your chances of surviving that attack right now? I don’t care what your rank is, what you’ve studied, how old you are, just right now, what’s your first reaction to that question?

Jumped on by a bigger, stronger, crazier animal in the jungle. Are you going to survive that situation or not?

Now, let me be clear. I’d like to set up this context as self-defense only. I’m not talking about making someone tap or necessarily killing them. I’m saying that when you’re attacked by this larger, stronger, faster, crazier animal, that you will be able to survive that, stop them from getting what they want from that situation and escaping.

So what are your chances? Now, it’s very easy in the martial arts to have one or two thoughts. One, you might think–

Man, I get beat up in class all the time. I’ve been here for years, but in sparring I still get beat up. If I’m grappling, I still get tapped out. And look, I’m going to be honest about it. When someone’s bigger and stronger than me, I have a really hard time. I’m not making progress. And therefore, the law of the jungle means the bigger, stronger animal wins every time against the smaller, weaker, slower, older, kinder animal.

That’s one approach. The other answer could be a feeling of–

Are you kidding me? Do you know who my teacher is? Do you know how tough my school is? Do you know how long I’ve been doing this? I am invincible. I can’t be beaten. I don’t care who it is. If they don’t even have any training, they don’t have a chance against me.

Alright, so those are the two extremes, perhaps of attitude. And of course, there’s a lot of propaganda here in the middle. You might have one group that really oversells how competent you can be at self-defense. They’re saying–

Oh, study this. This is the most deadly system ever devised. These are the most deadly techniques taught to elite army groups and, you know, militia type groups. This is what you want. Never fear again. Never walk in fear again.

That kind of pitch. On the other side, you might have someone who just says–

Look, martial arts is great for your health. It’s great for a sense of community. Get you out of the house. It’s fun. It’s goal setting. But look, at the end of the day, someone bigger, stronger, crazier will always beat the smaller animal. There’s no way around that. That’s just the way it is. That’s life.

Okay, so we have a pretty wide spectrum here of attitudes about martial arts, either what you believe on your own or what someone is trying to sell you their belief system.

Where is the truth?

Well, I happen to have the truth. Well, my version of the truth today, at least. Check back with me in the year. But today, I really want to make sure that you see that there is a spectrum.

On the one hand, you always have a puncher’s chance. If you put any two fighters together, there’s always a chance that the one who is the underdog, just in their panic, in their sheer desperation of just throwing fists or feet around, can make a hit on a vital spot of some kind, the temple or the neck or the groin, and hurt the bigger, stronger, trained animal.

That’s a puncher’s chance. Just no training whatsoever, go wild, throw something up there, and it might just work. So let’s say that’s one out of a hundred times.

On the other extreme of the spectrum, you have this concept that the bigger, stronger animal always wins. There is no chance for you. No chance. Bigger, stronger animal always wins.

I think we have to be honest about where we fall in somewhere, somewhere on that spectrum. I don’t believe you never have a chance and I don’t believe that you always can win. That’s the honest truth about the Law of the Jungle.

You always have a chance to survive, always. But that same rule applies against you. So that’s the double-edged sword.

On the one hand, you can always defend yourself. Never let anyone tell you that you have no chance. So it is always worth fighting, always. On the other hand, no matter who you are or what you train or how long you train, you never have 100% guarantee that you are going to survive.

Anyone can be killed. Anyone. So don’t buy the hype either way. You always have a chance. You never have a chance of always winning.

Okay, so for the sake of this discussion, let’s set up a scenario where you can fight someone in a self-defense context who’s 50 pounds heavier than you, a head taller than you, athletic, crazy, and committed. And like a video game, you’re going to get a reset.

Let’s say you fight that animal 100 times, okay? Do the first fight, first scenario, and then we’re going to clear that one off. Let’s start off fresh again. You do it a second time. So this is how I want you to think about it.

How many times out of 100 could you defend yourself against that bigger, stronger animal in the jungle? Let’s start from the bottom. I don’t believe in a zero chance. I believe you always have at least one chance out of 100 to defend yourself. That’s no training, no preparation, just blind desperation.

Even if all you can do is bite and you’re in a wheelchair, and you have one arm, if they come close enough to touch you, you can touch them. Maybe you could bite their nose. There’s always one chance you could deter a bigger, stronger animal from hurting you.

Now let’s say, okay, you’ve thought about self-defense a little bit. And you thought about, well, if I can only bite, where would I bite? Or if I can use my hands, where would I put my hands? Oh, I guess the eyes, the throat, the groin. Okay.

Now let’s just say you have that basic understanding of targeting, you’ve thought about it. And at least that much, you’ve prepared yourself for the idea of fighting off a bad guy, a bigger bad guy. I would say right off the bat, your odds have improved. Your chances improved from one out of a hundred. Let’s double it.

Let’s say now two times out of a hundred, because instead of just wildly flailing, you’re at least looking for eyes, groin, or throat. Let’s just limit it to those. So that’s kind of exciting. A little bit of knowledge and a little bit of mental preparation might double your chances. That’s the positive. On the other side, that’s only two out of a hundred times, maybe, that you get it to work.

Okay, so let’s step up another level. Let’s say now you also buy a heavy bag. Let’s say you maybe shadow box a little bit once in a while.

So very limited training. But you start figuring out how to use your body as a weapon. You start looking at your knuckles a little differently. You start squeezing your hands and bring a little of awareness into how strong they can be if you’re gripping something.

Maybe you do a couple of knee strikes into your hands once in a while. Maybe you just twist your elbows a little bit before you take a shower. So let’s just say you start bringing in some awareness of your body as a weapon. And you combine that with a little bit of thinking about where you would hit a bad guy.

Now I would say, once again, your odds on that spectrum have improved. And let’s just, to make math easy, let’s double it. So let’s say with no training whatsoever, you had one out of a hundred chances. And then you doubled it. And now I’ll give you three or four times out of a hundred.

If you have some knowledge of how to use your body a little bit, some knowledge of targeting, in the jungle, bigger, stronger animal attacks you, let’s say three or four, I’ll give you four times out of a hundred, you could deter them from hurting you, make them leave you alone.

So this is exciting, right? You’ve doubled your chances and then doubled them again. And I don’t think it took a lot of training to do that. You see where I’m going here, right? We’re just slowly working our way across the spectrum from one out of a hundred chances to two or three or four.

Ultimately, that’s what this whole game is. Martial arts training, I mean. It’s about increasing your odds, increasing your percentage of successes of survival. So now the bigger questions start coming in to play.

How much are you training? How much are you willing to train? What are you training? How are you training? How much money are you willing to invest? Which teachers are you willing to travel and meet with? What kind of injuries are you willing to sustain?

We’ve got a million variables now to play with. But let’s make things simple for now. Let’s continue down the spectrum. Let’s say you decide, you know what, I want to take Krav Maga for a weekend seminar. Or let’s say, Hey, my buddy does BJJ. Maybe once a month, I can convince him or her to roll around the living room and just practice a couple of scenarios with an actual person.

Great. Now, that kind of thing, I think, again, is going to start moving that needle. Maybe now instead of three or four times out of a hundred, maybe get to five or six, maybe not doubling yet. A weekend seminar, a little bit of rolling around with someone. I’m not going to double your percentage yet, but you moved up a little bit. Great.

Now let’s make the commitment. You enjoy rolling around, you enjoy that little bit of experimentation. It was a good seminar. So you commit six months. Let’s say you say, I’m going to take BJJ for six months. I’m going to go and roll in Krav Maga for six months.

Now I’m going to scooch up a little bit officially to six or seven out of a hundred. Let’s say you continue that into a year, two years, three years, four years, five years. Okay, now maybe we’re getting somewhere– not too far– but let’s say after five years of training in a martial art, a martial art that, just to make things simple, let’s say it’s a good program with a good teacher, and it’s giving you some good feedback on your skills. Here’s the bad news…

I’m very proud of you for committing to all of that training, by the way. But my feeling is that, well, maybe still ten times out of a hundred, that you’ll be able to defend yourself successfully against someone bigger, stronger, crazier, crazier and committed. That doesn’t make me happy to tell you that. I’m just kind of going from my experience, which may be different from yours or anyone else’s.

But I would say if you’re five years into a pretty solid program, you’re still at quite a disadvantage if that person who played some football, who’s 50 pounds heavier– that’s a big, strong animal coming at you. And if you disagree with that, and that’s okay, we were just talking about this.

If your first reaction, though, is, Oh, that’s crazy. Come on! Five years of training against someone bigger and stronger? Come on, I could definitely do better than 10 times out of 100.

Well, maybe you can. But it’s also possible that maybe you’re not training with the kinds of animals I’m talking about. It’s very easy to get lulled in the martial arts into a sense of confidence when you train with people kind of your size, or they’re not that athletic, or they’re not that committed to their training. And you say, Well, I got a big guy at my dojo.

Okay, but is he a world class athlete? Is he completely committed to killing you when you train? Those things make a difference. When someone gets their hands on you and they’re at a higher level of athleticism and strength, their muscle fibers just are not built like yours. And I’m not just talking about trying to compare females to males. I’m a male. And the first time you touch someone who’s like an elite athlete or you feel their muscles firing, their speed is so much greater than mine. Their strength is so much greater than mine. The way that they can explode, it’s like they’re teleporting.

For a while when I was younger, I thought I was pretty fast. My punches, my kicks, my footwork. And then you get squared up with somebody who, and again, without even much training, they’re just built differently. And I’m going to go into this topic in a different podcast, about just elite athletes and what we can do to try to even up the scales.

But isn’t that what martial arts is? It’s the person at the disadvantage trying to even the scales against someone who outclasses them. Better at balance, and coordination, and toughness, pain tolerance, drive, tunnel vision, killing instinct. Holy smokes, that could be really frightening.

So again, if you think five years of training to, if I’m low balling you at 10 times out of 100 as a success rate, I just want to put it back on you to suggest that are you really training with people who scare you? Because when you do, I think that’s what’s given me a more humble estimation of my skill level at the five year mark. It’s just frightening when you touch that kind of person.

Okay, let’s move on. Let’s say you stay in that program 10 years. 10 years into martial arts training. And I’m talking three to five classes a week, at least an hour to two hours per pop, doing a little home training as well, supplementing, of course. Where does that put you?

What do you think I’m going to say? And I’m curious what you would say, so please let me know in the comments. 10 years of training, and now you get attacked by this bigger, stronger, faster, more athletic animal. What are your chances now, do you think?

I’m going to give you 20 to 30. That’s what I’m going to for myself. 10 years of training, maybe 20. High end 30. Basically double, okay? That 5 years of training to 10 years of training, I’ll double it to like 20 to 30.

Now does that seem like I’m lowballing again? It might. And I expect some pushback on this, so feel free, it’s okay. I’m just being honest. The bottom line here is that there are limits to what you can do.

And let’s just push it out all the way now to the end of the spectrum. I’ve been training for over 30 years in the martial arts. I think a lot of my training has had really good feedback. I don’t think all of it has, but I think much of it has. I have been blessed to find some training partners who outclass me in every way, physically, and in mental toughness, I would also say.

I think some people just have that fighting gene, and they can take pain, and they’re not afraid of making contact. I think I had issues with all of those things, so I’ve never presented myself as a tough guy. I’m not, and I’m not particularly athletic. I’m not, couldn’t make track team, you know, all kinds of things I couldn’t make. Martial arts was a place for someone like me. Can’t get off the bench. Well, martial arts will accept you. Here I am.

So having said that, with over 30 years of training, I think on my best day, my, my perkiest, my peppiest, my most flexible, most motivated and impassioned state, I’m gonna give myself 70. 60 to 70 range. If you’re a little more athletic than I am or a little tougher than I am, I’ll get you up to 80, let’s say.

Out of 100 times you’re attacked, bigger, stronger, crazier, savage animal, I still don’t think you’ll ever get to 100%. I hope we agree on that. But I’m still gonna pull you down into the realm of 80 out of 100 times that you are able to defend yourself successfully, survive.

How do you feel about that? I told you this was gonna get ugly today. That would be probably the most ugly part of this. Even if you find a great teacher, find a great style, you find great training partners, my feeling is that even with decades of study, you’re still gonna hit a limit.

And by the way, if you’ve been training for 30 years or more, there’s another factor to consider, age. So even if you’re knocking it out of the park, and you’re a freak, and you’re an 80 to 90 percent, okay, you’re not me, you’re better than me, you’ve trained more, and genetically you’re just ahead of me, great. I’m still not gonna give you 100 percent. No way, uh-uh.

But let’s say you get to 90 out of 100 times, you can defend yourself successfully against someone bigger and stronger. Okay? But now you’re getting older. And all of that hard training, which you did, is really starting to catch up with you.

Your shoulder does not work the way it used to. Your knees, you cannot zig and zag the way you used to. Your cardio, your muscle tone, things are dropping, your body is now starting to get ready for the great sleep, the big sleep, the great dirt nap is coming.

Mother Nature is the only one who can kick your butt 100% of the time, right? So now when you factor in age and limited capabilities, all of that hard work and all of that training, you’re going to start sliding down on the other side, right? The other side of the hill. You’re going to go downhill now.

So maybe at your peak of skills, you’re at 80, 90 times out of 100, but now you’re 60 years old. Now where are you? Please be honest with yourself or project yourself into the future. However great you think you are now, put it out there.

When you’re 60, 70 years old, how much of that have you held onto? How much of the type of training that you have done, can you still do? Or are you sitting on the side? Are you retired? Are you talking a lot about what you used to be able to do? And now you can’t do as much. Now your percentages start coming down again.

And now let’s say you’re infirm. Let’s say you are in a wheelchair or on a cane or a walker. You’ve had some operations. You’ve had a heart attack. You’ve got parts of your body that aren’t original.

Okay, so here we are. Maybe now you’re back down to 40 times out of 100 at 60 years old. Maybe now you’re 65 years old and you’re at 20 times out of 100 with your skills. And now we’re backsliding.

Again, the good news is you still always have that puncher’s chance. You still always have a chance to survive. But the ugly truth, the law of the jungle is that bigger, crazier, stronger, younger animal always has an advantage.

They always have their puncher’s chance plus the advantages of weight and size and speed and explosiveness and commitment and taking it up to a killing level before you are, if you’re a kinder animal. We cannot push those things aside.

That is the honest truth about all martial arts training. That’s the way it is. It’ll never get you to 100 percent. And at some point, it’s going to come boomeranging back down towards one out of a hundred. That’s the way it is.

So am I saying give up on martial arts training? Certainly not. I’m training more now than ever. And I’ll be turning 50 very shortly. So this is the choice now that you have to make and everybody has to make.

Is your training worth it?

Either the training that you’re doing now or the training that you’re signing up for in the future. You have two choices, two answers to that question, okay?

On the one side, no, it’s not worth it. It’s simply not worth it. If you tell me that just by talking about martial arts a little bit and thinking about it, I double my chances from one to two and with a couple of weekend seminars here and there and a little bit of extra thinking about exercise with a heavy bag, I can go from two to four. You know what, that’s all the time and money and effort I’m willing to invest and I’m happy with that.

I’m a little bit better off than the guy next to me, but I’m not going to put myself up for all that time and money and driving and training and injuries. It’s not worth it to me. I’m just going to stay right there. Not worth it.

And if you tell me five years of some martial art only gets me up to eight, something like that, or you tell me ten years of training gets me to ten or at best twenty out of a hundred, it’s just not worth it. No problem. That doesn’t offend me at all.

Make your choice because don’t forget, the time that you invest in martial arts training is time away from your family. It’s time away from traveling. It’s time away from everything else that you might enjoy in life. Gardening, cooking, painting, hula hooping, I don’t know. But there is a trade-off. So it may not be worth it to you.

Maybe it was worth it to you when you were younger. Maybe now that you’re older, not so much. Because you already know that there’s a limit to what you got out of it and it’s only sliding off now. You might say that’s enough. I get it. No hard feelings on that.

On the other side, you might answer, it is worth it. Because martial arts is more than just self-defense. Martial arts might be your gym membership. That might be how you stay in shape, keep your heart in good shape, your cardiovascular system, your circulation, your muscle tone, your focus, your clarity, your mood.

There are so many benefits from just exercise in general. The camaraderie of getting to a social club where you can spar and roll with other people and meet other people. That might be your gymnasium. That might be your social club. That might be your therapy session.

There are so many benefits to just getting up and training in a martial arts program of any kind that you may say it’s absolutely worth it. Okay, maybe on the self-defense side, it only takes me so far, but on the improvement of my life side of it, it’s so vast.

Of course, I’m going to keep training and I’ll train till the day I die. Can you guess which side of this question I’m on? I’m training for life because I’m training for a happy life. I’m not just training to defend myself against wild animals. That’s part of it.

It always has been, but I get so many other benefits out of martial arts training. I’m never going to stop. So that’s my choice. What about you?

How are you training right now? Are you getting what you want out of it? I ask you that question all the time. Do you see yourself continuing to train? If so, are you under this impression that your self-defense skills will always keep improving and will never backslide?

Because I would say, here is my honest opinion, if you tell me that self-defense is the only reason that you’re training in martial arts, if that’s it, if you already have social needs met and physical fitness needs met someplace, and you have your therapy and your spirituality training someplace else, and you really are just coming to a martial arts class because you worry about being attacked, then I would say buy a gun, carry a knife, get a tool. That’s what they’re for.

Train with those tools responsibly. Don’t think that that’s just an automatic given that you can use those well either. But the amount of time it’s going to take you to train to use a tool of some kind, pepper spray, knife, gun, bat, stick, is so much less than trying to use your hands and go through all of the empty hand combat training of a normal martial arts program. It’s so much simpler that way.

And you’ll have so much of your life back. You won’t spend tens of thousands of dollars on schooling. You will not spend hours and hours in your car driving to and from class. You’ll save on laundry detergent. My god, I do a lot of wash.

You’re going to save on injuries and surgeries, most likely. It’s just inevitable part of the path. And you’ll have more time to spend with your family and all those other things you love to do in life.

So I represent Happy Life Martial Arts. And as a person who believes in building a happy life, if you’re only worried about self-defense, I think looking into a weapon is a great idea. That’s not me. I’m on the other side. Martial Arts is part of how I’ve built a happy life on all fronts in all categories. So I’m going to keep going. That’s what I’m doing.

I also believe in weapons though. So on that side of it, if you’re going to walk through this jungle, as we all are, I think I’m going to train for all of the benefits that martial arts provides. And on the self-defense front specifically, I do believe in weapons. I don’t teach them on YouTube, because I think that might be irresponsible at this point of what I’m trying to do. But I absolutely believe in them. Yes.

So this is a big question. How are you training? How much of your life are you willing to devote to your training? And are you being clear headed about what you’re going to get out of your training? Because I say again, there are plenty of people out there who might lead you to believe that you’re just going to keep getting better.

With self-defense, if you just learn that one more form, if you just go to that one more seminar, if you just go meet that one more teacher, if you just practice one more hour, that it never ends, that there’s this never ending improvement, never ending success rate, I should divide those two statements. I should divide that one statement into two.

Yes, you can keep improving. My stances, my kicking, my breathing, my attitude, my mentality, my strategy, my tactics, I am making improvements all of the time. Absolutely true. However, that does not mean that my success rate in a wild attack is going up all the time. Does that make sense?

I am becoming more efficient in how I use my body. I am becoming more comfortable in doing what I have to do to be successful. But on the other hand, I’m getting older. And the tough guys are not getting less tough. So my success rate is going down while my improvement is coming up.

Those are both possible because now all I’m talking about is slowing my backslide. However, I have peaked through technique and strategy over the years. And then I start coming down.

Definitely in my late 30s, the types of training that I was doing then, I was starting to have a backslide there. I was getting slower. There was talk about a hip implant. There was my shoulders eventually. My 40s started acting up. Energy, recovery times, backsliding.

So I found different ways to train, different teachers, different ideas, different styles. To start trying to say, Whoa. Well, if I can’t do that kind of kicking, what if I kick this way? Whoa. If that strategy doesn’t work, what if I try this strategy?

So there’s an inevitable backslide, believe it. But through smart training, you can slow it down and try to maintain the highest percentage possible. That’s what this is all about.

When you’re young and you’re a beginner, it’s very exciting because you’re still recovering and you’re learning. And very quickly, your success rate is doubling, doubling in not much time and not much effort. You’re doubling all the time, right?

That first year of training is thrilling because you’re so far ahead of where you were. If you’re six months into whatever kind of training you do, compare yourself to six months ago, that’s incredibly inspiring and exciting.

Take it out two years. You’ve been training two years and you look back to where you were and where you are now, incredibly exciting. But if you were training for 10 years and you look back to eight years, not as exciting. If you’ve been training for 30 years and you look back to where you were at 25 years, not so thrilling.

Don’t get me wrong, I am still thrilled with my little improvements. But looking over on the graph of success rate, not so thrilling. I wouldn’t keep training if I wasn’t getting results. Don’t get me wrong. But I’m very clear headed, very honest with myself about where I stand in the jungle and where the threats are and what I can do about those threats. Threats all around. Did you hear that siren?

So all I’m trying to share today is that you should be just as clear headed as I am. If that means going to test yourself a little bit more and seek out harder training sessions, then do that at least a couple of times. Don’t wait to be surprised by the fact that all of the training you’ve been doing wasn’t exactly gauged for the type of wild animal that I’m talking about.

If you’re only training with rabbits, you won’t believe what you start doing when a tiger jumps out. It ain’t the same. So make sure your training is providing you with honest feedback. If it is, I think if you come back and listen to this episode five years out, ten years out, you’re going to say, Oh yeah, maybe he was right about that.

I hope this all makes sense. I hope it’s not too dire. The martial arts, I still believe, is the greatest path to a happy life ever devised by humankind. I don’t think there is any activity that will pay you back more than the time, money, and energy you spend in the martial arts. Believe that.

But if we’re just talking about self-defense, there is definitely a limit to what you can achieve. As long as you’re clear headed about that and you prepare for that, then I don’t want you to be afraid of the jungle. Please don’t forget, and this is important–

You were born in this jungle. You live in this jungle. You will die in this jungle. You are a force of influence in this jungle just like every other animal. If you’re afraid of being in the dark with another animal, that animal should also be afraid of being in the dark with you.

Never forget your puncher’s chance. Never forget that no animal in the jungle is guaranteed a 100% success rate. You can be successful. You, with a little work and a little effort, can be incredibly successful. Just don’t get crazy and think you can’t be killed or you can’t be hurt, because it is still a jungle, and jungle law rules.

Wow, are you still here? You made it through that terrifying walk through the jungle? Well, good for you. That just means you’re my kind of person. And hey, if you’re my kind of person, you might be interested in a little more detail about how I’ve made my way through the jungle. That’s why I have finally started to shoot some online courses. They’re gonna be available as fast as I can shoot them on my website.

Of course, you’re always welcome to send me an email if you have a question or a problem. And if you ever want to jump on a video lesson or train in person, we could probably set that up, too.

But for now, smiles up, my friend. Let that smile be your shield and your sword. Keep fighting for a happy life.

The post #81: The Law of the Jungle and Self-Defense [Video + Podcast] appeared first on Sensei Ando.

YES! At least it sure helped me! Of course, martial artists love arguing about one style being better than another, but the way I see it—

Each style gives you insight into every other style!

In that spirit, let me share six ways that BJJ changed how I use my punches and kicks. If you’ve had the same experience, let me know!

If the video doesn’t play, try this link! You can find a transcript below.

How BJJ Improved My Stand-Up Fighting

TRANSCRIPT

Howdy! Ando here from Happy Life Martial Arts.

Today, I’m going to share six ways that training in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu has improved my stand-up fighting skills from Kung Fu and Karate. Some of this is practical, some is more philosophical.

Either way, spoiler alert— if you’re primarily a standup martial artist, I’m going to recommend that you give BJJ a try.

Before we start, I should tell you that I didn’t want to take BJJ. But, like everyone else living in the age of the Gracie revolution and the UFC, I knew I had to give it a shot at some point. When I finally did, my goal was not to give up what I was already doing, or to even be good at BJJ, my goal was simply to stop doing the stupid things that untrained people do when they hit the ground, like sticking your arms out, or rolling over, or crying.

I hated the idea of losing a fight on the ground to someone who only knows a little bit more than I do.

So, I just wanted to train BJJ long enough to learn the basics. I figured it would take about six months.

WRONG!

Turns out, 10 years later, I’m still making stupid mistakes. But over time, I figured out that the mistakes I make aren’t really “groundfighting” mistakes… they’re flaws in my character—my fears and my ego.

By giving me a different way to train fighting, BJJ has given me a different way to see myself, which gives me a different way to improve myself, which is why I think you should try it, too. But before we get too philosophical, let’s get back to the practical.

Here come six ways BJJ has helped me improve my stand up skills and my living skills.

6 Stand-Up Improvements

IMPROVEMENT #1. Confidence

Many martial artists lean away from their strikes or stop from following up because they’re afraid of getting countered. But when you’re not afraid of being grabbed, tackled, or pinned on the ground, that can really add some pop to your punches and kicks.

So, train your stand up art as hard as you can, but train a little BJJ for a back up plan. It’s a lot easier to stand your ground when you’re not afraid of falling on the ground.

IMPROVEMENT #2. Structure

Obviously, punching and kicking require good balance, alignment, and posture. But on the ground, when you get stuck under someone’s entire body weight, you really respect how to set your bones in place to manage the pressure and keep from getting crushed. That deeper level of awareness of how to line up my skeleton has made my punching, kicking, and takedowns even better.

To my sparring partners, I may look the same, but I sure don’t feel the same!

IMPROVEMENT #3. Grip

BJJ improved my grip. I don’t mean stronger, I mean smarter. In my first year or two of BJJ, I was grabbing too hard and hanging on for too long. I was terrified of letting go of a bad situation because I thought that would just make it worse. As a result, I jacked up my fingers big time. The solution?

Stop trying to muscle my way out of every problem and start trusting my wits instead. That led to an even bigger lesson—learning when to hold on to an idea when you know it’s helping you and when to let go of an idea when it’s holding you back or hurting you.

If you can figure that out, you’ll reach your goals on and off the mats. Plus, you’ll save a lot of money on athletic tape.

For more on this topic, check out my podcast, JUST LET GO…AND WIN!

IMPROVEMENT #4. Fighting small battles to win big wars.

In BJJ, when you’re getting choked or crushed, the amount of relief you can gain by just sliding up or down a half-inch is profound. Sure, small, technical details make a big difference in striking, too, but BJJ really slowed me down to respect the little things even more.

Now, I don’t mind throwing an extra jab or two to set up a better position to throw a big punch. BJJ helped me to see that as long as I’m moving forwards towards my goals, even one half-inch at a time, I have a chance to win the war.

IMPROVEMENT #5. Timing

Or picking the right moment. I thought I was in good shape. But on the ground, you’ll find out that good shape is not good enough. You’ll watch in horror as you gas out, lay out, pass out, and not be able to fight back at all!

But good news—burning up all your energy forces you to figure out when to exert yourself and when to relax. When to explode and when to take a breath and fight for something smaller.

BJJ is great for getting your priorities straight and using your energy wisely. If you don’t, well—you’ll end up tapping, breaking a leg, or puking all over yourself.

IMPROVEMENT #6. Contact

Look, I had been doing stand-up fighting—sweeps, locks, and takedowns—for a long time before BJJ, so I thought I was cool getting close to people. But BJJ is just closer.

You don’t just bump and slam into each other for a second or two. Nope! You might end up with someone’s sweaty chest grinding on your face for five or 10 minutes.

But funny thing—over time, that doesn’t bother you anymore. And that’s a good thing because when you stand back up, if someone grabs you or picks you up, you don’t freak out as much.

In contrast, if all you do is point sparring, you might train yourself into believing that anyone touching you is instant death.

Point! Game over.

But in grappling, you don’t fear being touched. If anything, you welcome it because your know that’s your opportunity to control the situation. Let me go a little deeper on this one.

When your main focus is striking, it’s easy to feel disconnected from your opponent. You want to keep them away from you to avoid their strikes, and you only want to get close enough to land your strikes. And even when you do connect with a strike, you only touch your partner for an instant before pulling back to the safety and comfort of being all alone. Grappling is the complete opposite.

Grappling is all about connection. You have to be okay touching someone and you have to be okay with someone touch you. I know that might sound a little weird, but get over it.

Being comfortable touching other human beings is a much healthier mindset than walking around trying to keep everybody away from you all the time.

It’s one thing to feel okay hugging people you love, but when you feel okay hugging people who hate you or are trying to hurt you, you have a very powerful tool in making this world a better place. Either by controlling someone to calm them down and let them go… or pick them up and throw them on their head.

All right! I can talk about this subject all day, but that’s enough for now.

To be clear, I’m not telling anyone that you need to be a black belt in BJJ. But I would encourage you to be open-minded enough to try other martial arts, not to replace what you’re doing, but to enhance what you’re doing. And if that means trying a BJJ class to improve your stand-up fighting skills, go for it… at least for six months.

If you liked this video, thanks for sharing with a friend who you think might like it, too. Until next time, reach out and touch somebody and keep fighting for a happy life.

The post How BJJ Improved My Stand-Up Fighting in Kung Fu appeared first on Sensei Ando.

If the video doesn’t play, try this link!

Jump Kick Tips for Self-Defense

TRANSCRIPT

Howdy. Ando here from Happy Life Martial Arts.

Do you like jump kicks? When I was younger, I loved them. They were fun to practice and come on—who doesn’t dream of flying over a car or your girlfriend’s head to knock out a bad guy?

Of course, nowadays, I’m more likely to hit a bad guy with my cane than a jump kick, but I’ve still got a tip to help you fly as high as you can.

So, watch this video for a little information, then go watch Ginger Ninja Trickster for a little inspiration… because that guy can really kick!

JUMP KICK TIP #1

Okay. My best tip for jump kicks is this – look up!

I see a lot of students fighting from a defensive crouch with their chin tucked in. That’s totally cool… until you want to blast off into a jump kick. When your chin is down and your shoulders are rounded forward, jumping feels heavy. Like wearing a backpack full of rocks.

Don’t believe me? Try this…

1) Drop down into a frog squat. Now look straight down and jump up as high as you can.

2) Now, look up and jump as high as you can.

3) Add a kick and see what happens. Looking down… and looking up. No, not all the way up. Just up.

Well? Did you feel a difference? You didn’t do it yet, did you. Well, when you do, if your body is like mine, you’re going to feel lighter and be able to jump higher when your spine is straight.

So, when you’re launching that jump front kick or jump sidekick or some fancy jump spin kick, keep your head up and your eyes on the horizon. That will help you take off like a rocket.

Oh, and if you haven’t seen my video on the Dangers of Being a Bobble Head, then you should check that out, too. To sum it up, you never want your head tipping, flopping, or rolling around. That will almost always weaken your balance, power, and control.

JUMP KICK TIP #2

Hey, while we’re on the subject of jump kicks let me give you one more tip—keep your hands up!

Look, if you’re auditioning for a superhero movie or you’re trying to impress your friends by kicking a piñata, then you can let your hands flip and flop. Even Bruce Lee jump kicked with his hands sticking out. But that’s the movies!

If you’re bold enough to think about using a jump kick for self-defense—hey, do your thing, Superstar!—then you should protect yourself at all times. When you jump over that car, or over your best friend’s body, you want to land with your guard up just in case you miss or they see you coming.

So, keep your hands up and hit the ground fighting, not posing for pictures.

There you go. Look up and hands up—two simple tips that will keep you flying instead of dying.

If you liked this video, thanks for subscribing to the channel and sharing with a friend. Until next time, fly high, my friend, and keep fighting for a happy life.

The post Jump Kick Tips for Self-Defense appeared first on Sensei Ando.

If the video doesn’t play, try this link!

Head Movement Drill for Self-Defense

TRANSCRIPT

Howdy. Ando here from Happy Life Martial Arts. In my video, Don’t Be a Bobble Head, we talked about the bad habit of moving your head when you don’t need to. Today, let’s talk about another bad habit in the martial arts—not moving your head when you should.

You see it all the time. People hitting pads, or working the bag, or even sparring with their head stuck in place like a stop sign. Now, if you’ve got an iron chin and you’re tough enough to stand there and trade punches with somebody, hey—I can’t stop you.

Or if you’re the kind of person who says things like, “Dude, I like getting hit. I gotta get punched in the face a couple of times just to get fired up.” Wow—I wish I could stop you. That’s like saying, “You know, I don’t feel like defending myself on the street until I get stabbed a couple of times.” That’s not tough—that’s dumb.

Anyway, if you’re anything like me—not particularly tough and a jaw made out of fine crystal—then I recommend you switch how you think from reaction to action. That means not waiting around to see a punch coming at your face before you decide to start moving your head.

Don’t try to be slick! Instead, make head movement part of your defense and your offense.

You should be making it a habit to move your head before they punch and while you punch them.

Look— if you throw a punch at me and then you just stand there like a stop sign, well, you’re giving me a pretty easy target to hit. I can see you!

But here’s the funny thing—even if you hit me, even if I flinch, even if I go blind and have no idea how to fight and I just start throwing wild swings at the place I just saw you, I still have a chance of connecting and beating you.

How embarrassing—beaten up by a blind, untrained fighter. To avoid that, always hit and move. Practice throwing your combinations and disappearing like a ninja. Well, without the smoke bombs.

Mirror Drill

Try this. Find yourself a mirror. Hey, good-looking.

Now, go grab a piece of tape. Put the tape right on your face in the mirror. I know that doesn’t line up right on camera, but that’s on my face.

Now, back up, throw a punch, and when your hand comes back, if your face is still on that piece of tape, you’ve got a problem, my friend. You just got knocked out!

Instead, practice throwing your punch and when your hand comes back, see if your head can be off of that line.

I’ll do it towards the camera so it makes more sense. Let’s pretend you are the piece of tape. If I throw a punch and my hand comes back, well, I’m right here. You’re going to knock me out. I would rather throw this punch and move my head so that I’m offline.

You can do this with a fade, a little bit back… you can do side to side… and of course, you can do it while attacking, coming straight in. But no matter what you do, don’t be a stop sign. Get off the mark.

Yes, sticking your head out and leaving it there can be useful in drawing a punch, but that’s on purpose. That’s a deliberate strategy. That’s not what I’m talking about today.

Today, I’m recommending that you break the bad habit of standing like a statue inside someone’s punching range. For that matter, I’m not a big fan of shucking and jiving inside of someone’s punching range, either. Those are the two most dangerous strategies possible in a real fight!

When it comes to self-defense, build the habit of either being outside of their range so you can’t get hit or being inside your range and on the attack. If you disagree with that, well, I have another video all about brain damage that you should probably take a look at.

TAKE CARE OF YOUR BRAIN!

Oh— and please don’t send me a video of Muhammad Ali or Anderson Silva showing off how slick they are standing in range, and bobbing and weaving, and never getting hit.

If YOU are an elite athlete… and YOU have put in as many hours into your training as they did, well, then sure—go ahead and show off a little bit. But if you’re not, then play it smart—

Keep your hands up and train yourself to hit and move. Otherwise, it’s just a countdown until you’re knocked down.

If you liked this video, thanks for giving it a thumbs up and sharing with a friend. Until next time, keep your head on a swivel, my friend, and keep fighting for a happy life.

The post Head Movement Drill for Self-Defense appeared first on Sensei Ando.

If I’m not careful, it’s not difficult for my training partners and, God forbid, real-life attackers, to get their grubby little arms under my chin and choke me out.

But before I tap—or possibly die—there are a couple of tricks I practice to give myself more time to work my escapes and counters.

Hope these tips on how to survive a choke help you, too! Summary below.

Tips to Survive a Choke

WARNING: Practicing chokes and choke defense is dangerous if you’re not careful. Make your safety and the safety of your training partners your number one priority at all times.

Let me be honest—there is nothing easy about getting out of a choke. These tips are not magic tricks. They are last ditch efforts to hopefully buy you one or two more seconds while you fight to escape.

One or two seconds might not sound like a lot of time, but remember, when it comes to chokes, you can be asleep in five to eight seconds! Therefore, adding even one second can mean the difference between surviving and dying.

My point? Don’t be cocky after learning these tricks. Go practice!

Trick #1: Smile

No, not a smirk. Smirking is why most people want to choke me in the first place. Instead, I want you to smile like a supervillain. Like the Joker on crack.

You’ll probably drop your chin as a natural reaction to being choked anyway. Adding a smile makes your reaction even more effective.

When you smile in an exaggerated fashion (or frown), your neck tends to “puff up”. Your goal is to puff up and create an extra cushion to protect the carotids (your brain’s blood supply) and trachea (your air supply).

Am I saying neck muscles are stronger than the bad guy’s arm muscles? No. But if smiling can buy me an extra one or two seconds, then I’m going face death with a smile. 🙂

Try it right now. Put your fingers on your neck and feel how different facial expressions either strengthen or weaken your neck. Find a face that puffs up your neck without leaving you too tense to move.

Once you find your “choke face”, practice it. Try 20 reps. Go for a burn just like you would with push-ups, squats, or any other exercise.

The only difference is that this exercise will make you look completely insane.

Trick #2: Bullfrog

Ever see a frog inflate the skin underneath its chin? Well, you can do the same thing. Sort of.

Place your fingers under your chin. Press your tongue into the roof of your mouth. Did you feel that? This is a subtle, but important movement.

Just like the “choke face”, experiment with your tongue. Press all over the roof of your mouth until you find the sweet spot that gives you the biggest bullfrog effect.

Add the bullfrog to your choke face and you’ll be on your way to claiming some of the crucial space that the bad guy needs to choke you out.

Trick #3: Relax

It’s not easy to relax when some maniac is squeezing your throat. But consider this…

If the bad guy thinks the choke is working, he’s going to keep squeezing. He’ll never let you go!

On the other hand, if the bad guy doubts the choke is working, he may let go and change his attack.

So, when you get choked, don’t kick and thrash in a blind panic. That just tells your attacker that his technique is working!

Instead, play it cool. Protect your neck and work your escapes and counters as efficiently as possible. As you do, here’s a bit of good news to keep in mind…

If a choke is not set correctly, you’re not going to pass out.

So, if you can’t get escape, but can at least relieve a small amount of pressure on your throat or sides of the neck, you might be able to stonewall. Instead of thrashing, save your energy and be ready to explode the second he decides to give up the choke.

Did you see my video with Stephan Kesting on how to escape the Rear Naked Choke?

One more thing about choke defense…

Be careful about the noises you make!

When you’re getting choked, you might hear you lips start to motorboat. You might even hear yourself making snoring noises! If the bad guy hears either sound, his confidence will get a big boost.

Maybe that’s what you want. Maybe you’re faking distress on purpose! We can talk strategy another day. Today, just be aware of the signals that you’re sending, voluntarily or not.

Okay, maybe one note about strategy. You might have heard that playing dead or going completely limp is a clever way to get out of a choke. Hmm…

I’d say if you’re in a classroom setting with a friendly training partner, that’s worth a shot. But in a real-life attack with a real-life attacker? I’d say that playing dead is likely to get you really dead.

To survive a choke, my advice is to keep fighting until you can’t fight anymore.

Okay, so, let’s review—

1. Smile
2. Bullfrog
3. Relax

Three last ditch tips to help you survive a choke and stay in this world a little longer. Now, go practice!

The post Self-Defense Tips to Survive a Choke appeared first on Sensei Ando.

Here’s some advice for anyone looking to get better at blocking and dodging punches and kicks. Let me know if you agree!

If the video won’t play, scroll down for a loose transcript. Stay safe, my friend!

How to Block a Punch for Self-Defense

Two questions I get all the time…

1) Dear Sir—what is the best way to block a punch?

2) Hey, Bro—how do I get better at dodging punches?

Good questions. The short answer to both of them is–

Forget about blocking and dodging. Those are not the smartest strategies for surviving a attack.

Now for the long answer…

No matter what anyone tells you, the secret to self-defense is not defense. The secret is offense.

Seriously. If you find yourself blocking and dodging in a real fight, you’re losing! Why? Because no one can block and dodge or bob and weave forever. Eventually, you’re going to get hit. Especially if you’re outnumbered.

That means your goal in training shouldn’t be to get good at blocking and dodging. Your goal should be to force the bad guy to block and dodge. The sooner you can do that in a self-defense situation, the better.

So, my advice…

When your life is in danger, don’t be a “blockhead”—attack!

But wait! What about all those cool traditional blocks we practice in the martial arts? Don’t they work?

Uh…I wouldn’t bet my life on them!

The movements themselves are not the problem, it’s just thinking about them as “blocks” that causes trouble.

By now, you should know that all those movements aren’t really blocks at all. Yes, they may look like blocks, but they’re actually attacks and counterattacks—strikes, grabs, traps, locks, and breaks.

Think about it—do you really think after hundreds and hundreds of years of wars and fighting, the great Karate and Kung Fu masters would lie on their death beds and tell their students…

If someone punches at your head, put your arm up to stop it.

Gee, thanks, Sifu. Usually I just try to catch punches in my mouth.

Now, am I saying you should never block or dodge in a fight? Of course not. I block and dodge all the time. But I don’t focus on it. Instead, I trust my body to protect itself automatically.

So should you!

Did anyone ever teach you how to block your groin if someone kicks at it? Probably not. Your body protects itself instinctively, right? Heck, even little kids will put their hands up if you punch them in the face. Trust me on that—I punch a lot of kids.

The bottom line—the more you trust your body to take care of itself, the more brain power you’ll free up to focus on taking control of the situation.

So, how do you get better at blocking and dodging punches and kicks?

The best way is to have a partner throw some punches and kicks at you. But remember—your goal isn’t to get better at blocking and dodging, your goal is to get better at protecting yourself while you’re fighting back. Focus on making your partner block.

If you have to block and dodge while you’re on the attack, do it. With experience, good habits like keeping your chin down, hands up, and not flinching will make it easier to stay protected while you take control.

Even when you’re practicing alone, always imagine yourself on the attack. Don’t just stand there thinking block… block… block. I mean, unless you want to die.

The smarter training habit is to follow up every defensive movement with an offensive movement.

Block and punch. Slip and kick. Even better, practice simultaneously dodging and striking. Even better than that, practice attacking first to shut down the bad guy’s plans.

The bottom line is to always imagine yourself in a real fight for your life. In a real fight, you would never just block and stop, would you?

Would you?!

For more advice on attacking in self-defense, check out, Finish the Fight!

To be clear, I’m not saying you shouldn’t care about defense. I’m saying you should focus on attacking with good habits and intelligence so that your defense takes care of itself.

I can still hear some people thinking, “But what about a great defensive boxer like Floyd Mayweather or utilizing the “rope-a-dope” strategy to tire out your opponent?”

Good points! But let’s stick to talking about self-defense, not sparring for fun or competing in a combat sport. If your life is not on the line, sure, you might block and dodge on purpose as part of a larger gameplan or maybe just to stall and catch your breath.

But for self-defense, you don’t have time to play games. If you’re fighting for your life, you have one choice—go down swinging or go down blocking.

In that case, I’d rather throw a punch than block a punch. How about you?

The post How to Block a Punch for Self-Defense appeared first on Sensei Ando.