Martial Arts Don’t Lie…Do You?

People ask me why I practice martial arts. They never like my answer.

Do I like to fight? No. Am I afraid of being attacked? No. Am I a health nut? No. Do I like wacky uniforms, bare feet, gongs, and incense? No.

Actually, I don’t like any of those things. Especially bare feet.

The reason I do martial arts is simple–it’s honest. Brutally honest. More honest than any hobby or sport I’ve ever tried. In martial arts, you either get hit or you don’t. You either get choked or you don’t. You either get thrown to the ground or you don’t.

In a good martial arts program, there is no gray area. Very little is left to your opinion or personal interpretation. That means there’s very little room for delusion. A good martial arts program forces you to see yourself as you really are, not how you want to see yourself.

If you deny your shortcomings, you will struggle. If you accept what you discover about yourself, you can identify your strengths, improve your shortcomings, and grow more powerful each day.

When I started in Tae Kwon Do, I was quite full of myself. I was fast, strong, smart, and not shy about letting everyone know it.

But then I got punched in the face. And punched in the face. And punched in the face.

It took my ego a couple of months to stop making excuses and finally accept the truth…maybe I wasn’t as fast, strong, and smart as I thought! Maybe I should just shut up, pay attention, and figure out how to stop getting punched so much.

That process continues to this day. Every time I puff up and think I know it all–KAPOW!–I get punched in the face. Or choked. Or thrown to the ground. But nowadays, I just laugh. I laugh because I remember my ego is a delusional liar. Always has been, always will be. Then I shake off the cobwebs, say thank you for the blunt reminder, and get back to learning.

If only every part of life was as clear and direct as martial arts. Relationships, business, finances, health…many times it’s difficult to discern the real from the unreal, the liars from the truth-tellers, and feelings from facts. It’s so easy to find ourselves tricked, cheated, or stuck in a bad position.

Yes, you win and lose in all sports, which seems pretty clear cut. And yes, there are profits and losses in business to let you know what’s working and what’s not. But martial arts goes deeper than any of that.

It’s primal. It’s personal. It puts your identity at risk. You are forced into unknown, uncomfortable territory. Every limitation of your body, knowledge, and spirit is revealed for everyone to see. In short, fighting is the shortest path to the real you.

Now, I don’t expect everyone to sign up for a martial arts class just to get punched and choked in the name of self-discovery, but I do hope everyone will be open to the lessons that come from–and can only come from–pain, loss, and disappointment.

When you take a punch to your reputation, your heart, your finances, your dreams…suck it up. Stand face to face with it and see it for what it is.

Don’t lie to yourself. Don’t make excuses. Don’t live in delusion. Be smart and figure out how to stop the pain from ever happening again. Don’t miss the opportunity to better yourself on the deepest possible level.

Think about it. A kiss can be a lie. A handshake can be a lie. A smile can be a lie. But a punch? Nothing is more honest than a punch to the face. Or a punch to your happiness.

Bruises don’t lie. Cuts don’t lie. Pain doesn’t lie. Only you lie.

If you’re outclassed, outsmarted, overpowered, misguided…admit it. Accept it. Own it.

Say thank you for the punch.

Then do something about it.