Sparring with the Ocean

To be a great martial artist, you need sparring partners. Great sparring partners.

That’s why almost every summer, I travel to Wrightsville Beach, NC, to face the greatest sparring partner of all time—the ocean.

Here’s a short video sharing one lesson I learned. But you might like hearing more details below.

Sparring the Ocean

Here’s why I love sparring the ocean…

From the moment I step into the surf, the ocean is on the attack, picking a fight.

For days, I am pushed, pulled, slapped, knocked down, and rolled over by the choppy waves.

The ocean hits me when I’m not looking, throws sand in my eyes, and holds me down when I try to get up.

Wave after wave tests my breathing, balance, strength, coordination, and fighting spirit.

In short, I take a beating. Almost always, there are moments when I think I’m going to die.

Yes, die!

You see, the ocean doesn’t hold back when you take a bad fall. It doesn’t apologize or ask if you’re okay.

The ocean doesn’t let you catch your breath or help you back to your feet. It just attacks and attacks and attacks.

Relentless. Deceptive. Merciless.

If you’re not careful, the ocean will kill you.

And that’s exactly why it’s such a great sparring partner.

Whoa! Hold on!

If a sparring partner in the dojo attacked you as viciously as the ocean, you’d kick him out! If a sparring partner in the dojo tried to kill you, you’d have him arrested!

So, why is the ocean any different? Here’s why—

The ocean isn’t trying to kill you. The cold, hard truth is that the ocean doesn’t care about you at all.

It doesn’t care what style you practice or what rank you hold.

It doesn’t care if you went to college or if you make a good living.

It doesn’t care if you’re liberal or conservative.

It doesn’t care if you’re a saint or a sinner.

To the ocean, you’re just another shell to be shattered. You’re a rock to be smashed into sand.

That’s the difference. When the ocean attacks, it’s not personal. Ever. It treats you the same as everyone else.

The ocean also never loses its temper. It doesn’t fight to protect its ego or to humiliate you.

The ocean will also never lie to you. It will knock you off your feet if you try to overpower it. It will drag you into deeper waters if you refuse to stand up for yourself. It keeps you honest.

All of which makes the ocean more than just a perfect sparring partner, it’s a perfect partner to practice self-defense. Consider this—the ocean shares the same mindset as a real-life attacker.

A real-life attacker sees you as an object. You are nothing more than a means to an end. It’s not personal to the attacker. It’s only personal to you!

Like the attacker, stare into the ocean’s dark eyes and you will see no compassion. No glimmer of understanding.

The ocean offers you no way to connect or communicate. It has its own plan and you will not stop it.

To survive the ocean or an attacker, this is my best advice—

Drown your ego before your ego drowns you!

As I fought back against the ocean, I quickly learned that I could not control it or beat it… but I could get better at managing myself while I was in it.

Instead of trying to defeat the ocean, I focused on surviving it. In self-defense, that’s the same as winning. But to attain that level of clarity and focus, you must put your ego aside. You can’t waste time thinking, “How can this be happening to me? Don’t you know who I am?”

To defend yourself, you must depend on yourself. And depending on yourself starts with getting over yourself!

While fighting the ocean or a bad guy, you learn to not expect mercy. You learn to stay on guard at all times.

You learn to get out of your head and into the moment. You learn to trust your feelings and take action instead of hesitate.

You learn to think, move, and feel without worrying about how you look or if you’re doing things right.

Sparring with the ocean is will beat the ego right out of you!

Of course, I’m not the first martial artist to approach the ocean as a sparring partner. Brazilian Jiu Jitsu appreciates and respects the ocean. Many BJJ students surf the waves, training themselves to go with the flow.

Karate also appreciates and respects the ocean. Many Karate students will stand in the surf, training themselves to become immovable in stance and unshakable in focus as the waves crash around them.

In simple terms, one style struggles to accept the ocean, while the other struggles to resist it. Which is right?

Neither.

And both.

That’s because there is a time to stand firm and a time to let go.

In martial arts and life, there is a time to ride the waves and a time to make waves. Knowing the difference separates the beginner from the master.

But what if you don’t happen to live near the ocean? Do you really have to jump into the waves to become a master fighter?

Of course not! If you’re a student of a school that offers you a range of different sparring partners, you can learn all the same lessons. Larger opponents and aggressive partners will force you to step back. Smaller opponents and counter-fighters will encourage you to step forward.

Always take the opportunity to practice with sparring partners of every size and temperament to challenge your existing skills and build new ones.

But what if your school does not offer you a range of different opponents to spar? Then be very careful to not fall into the trap of only fighting one way. Try this: Record a video of yourself sparring. What do you see?

If you see yourself either advancing most of the time or retreating most of the time, you are in danger of becoming half a master. Maybe you can dominate smaller opponents, but crumble before larger ones. Maybe you stay on the move around larger opponents, but lack the skills to engage them directly. Remember—

Your goal is to survive attackers of every kind.

Think beyond the walls of your school. Imagine attackers of every size and attitude. Imagine situations that overwhelm your confidence. Don’t limit yourself to mastering only what you encounter on the mats.

That way, you won’t only master attacking, you’ll also master counter-fighting. You won’t just master fighting on the retreat, you’ll master charging in.

Yes, a good teacher will already be encouraging you to develop a full range of skills, but becoming a complete master is first and foremost your responsibility. So—

Throw yourself into sparring like you’re diving into the ocean.

And if you start feeling proud of yourself, then it’s time to put your skills to the test. Take a vacation. A trip to the coast, perhaps. That’s where you can face the greatest sparring partner of all time.

Can’t make it to the ocean? Don’t worry—

The ocean doesn’t care if you show up or not.